dealbreaker

"married on myspace" is a reality web series in its 2nd season now. it's no wonder no one's ever heard of it, since god's (and the rest of the universe) on facebook these days.

basically couples videotape themselves begging strangers to pick them so that myspace will pay for their wedding and shit.

i'm putting $$$ down on him banging the pool boy within the year...

twitter and 2009

hopefully NME is incorrect in their assumption that twitter is going to rule the world in 2009. according to them, 2008 was all facebook facebook facebook.

i remember using twitter like my no longer existing tumblr account from a while ago. now i'm back on this internet/phone crack.

so addicting.

sci fi for life

i just geeked out and bought the whole season (three episodes) of tin man. really christine? really?

yes.

now if only i can find a sci fi convention to attend so i can dress like this:

sharon stone knows karma

wow sharon, maybe karma is what made catwoman and basic instinct 2 break box office records.

let me also take this moment to say that even though mensa stated that you were never a part of their organization, that i'm still on your side about how you belong to mensa, and how you attended their non-existent school.

if you need more reasoning on why sharon stone deserves to die, then watch this video too:

star wars for the deaf

really. you're going to want to be deaf before watching this.

free time

leet speak, ftw.

who didn't watch america's best dance crew?

you fucked up.

recently jon chu, director of step up 2 the streets and adam sevani (who plays moose in step up 2 the streets challenged miley cyrus (billy ray cyrus' daughter) and her back up dancer mandy to a dance battle via youtube.

this is what ensues:


miley and mandy retaliate:


adam/chu dance crew (acdc) tears it up:


perez hilton isn't even this star-studded.

looking for adderall?

according to wikipedia,brian bobby has some for sale:

brack faith asian rike to dance.

i can't sleep. this is what i find on the internet at 4am.



and one of my classic favorites:

menses

i don't know what the fuck is going on, but my tits are getting bigger (well for me they are). i seem to be losing weight, but my boobs won't stop being swollen. no, it's not my fucking period. i think i'm finally growing into a woman. ha ha.

here's proof:


sometimes i really hate being a girl woman.

the kindness of cyber strangers

i joined this site iminlikewithyou.com recently. it's still running in beta version. a vet iminlikewithyou user informed me that it had started out as a dating site, but had evolved into something more "friendly" now.

it's fairly simple concept of instilling a "point system" has made it easy to use. you receive points when you upload pics, invite friends to join (and they surrender), or post games. my most recent game involved recommendations on music. most you who know me, are familiar with my structuralized upbringing. for those who don't, i was raised in a household where tv, radio, and cd players were out of the question. think communist china.

i briefly mentioned i had played the cello (classical music was the rare exception to the music rule) in my game description.

someone who bid on my game (cyberforte, a 15 year old from brooklyn) responded with "i play cello too".

this is mike sassinator's paint response as to why cyberforte should win:


i love it.

crazy blind date dot com

it's been a while since i've been on crazyblinddate.com but i'm quite happy to report that i am still at "elite club" status. how do you attain said title you ask? my magnetic personality, charming charisma, and astonishing good looks naturally. but no seriously, i am still a person who "will now be receiving more opportunities to go on dates" because i have "had plenty of positive feedback from all my dates".

my cyber life is goooooood.

mormon hunks '09

mormonsexposed.com has released their "mormon hunks 2009" calendar. you can "meet" the mormons with their clothes or ogle them by simply rolling your mouse over their pics.

here are my favorites from the upcoming calendar:

mr. pancake nipples

mr. mexican mormon

and last but not least, mr. pretty as a picture frame

best of all, they all have myspaces laden with comments from creepy 40 year old closet gay dudes, saying "looking good! keep up the good calendar work! you make me glad i cheat on my wife in aol chat rooms with 14 year old mormon boys!". ok, ok, i added that last one, but it's only because i'm an expert at reading between the lines.

this guy really sucks

this douchebag just dicked me out of an apt 6 days before i'm suppposed to move out.

thanks asshole at 206 rivington apt a.

i love this stuff

bring the pain.

blood and gore. i fucking love it.

if only i were nice

if you fit the bill, get free rent here!!!!

is my bf on the dl?

about.com has a section entitled the gay life.
they conveniently have a whole message board dedicated to unearthing whether or not your boyfriend/husband/sex partner is gay. this would have helped in college, when i caught a guy i was dating making out with another dude at a gay bar. yes homo.

From: HURTINGGIRL
To: All
Posted: Nov 01 05 01:17 PM
Message: 1828.1 (1 of 11)

FIRST TIME USING THIS SITE, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!

I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS GUY FOR OVER 4 YEARS! HE HAS BEEN MARRIED TWICE AND REFUSE TO TELL ME THE REASON OF THE DIVORCE. AND KIDS ARE INVOLVED WITH THREE DIFFERENT WOMEN. HERE IS THE REASON I QUESTION HIM:

1.I ASKED IF HE WANTED TO GO TO A GAY BAR AND HE AGREED, BUT I CHANGED MY MIND AFRAID OF THE OUT COME.

2. HE HAS THIS BEST FRIEND THAT OFTEN CALLS HIM BUT WITHIN THE FOUR YEARS I NEVER MET HIM, HE ALSO ASKED ME IF WE WERE TO GET MARRIED THEN HE WILL NEED A BASEMENT FOR HIM AND HIS FRIEND TO HANG OUT.........WTF

3. HE ALSO SAID IF WE WERE TO GET MARRIED HIS FRIEND WILL NOT BE IN THE WEDDING?

4. WE WERE ONCE DINING OUT AT A RESTURANT AND A GROUP OF MEN CAME HE, AND MY BF FROZED UP SAYING OH S*** THERE GO DO FROM MY JOB, LIKE HE DIDNT WANT ME TO SEE ANYTHING BUT ONCE HE CALM DOWN AND SEEN HE WAS MAKING AN A** OF HIMSELF, HE SHOCK IS HAND.

5. AND FINALLY HE ASKED IF WE COULD HAVE ANAL SEX AND I TOLD HIM ONLY IF I CAN DO HIM FIRST, WHHHHHY DID HE BRING A DILDO HOME? BUT I DIDNT USE IT EEEWWWW

WHEN I ASK HIM HAVE HE BEEN WITH MEN BEFORE HE SAYS NO AND WHATS UP WITH ME WITH THIS GAY SHIT...................................THERE IS MORE BUT FOR WHAT I AM TELLING YOU, WHAT DO YOU THINK?? DL OR WHAT?


thoughts? if my girlfriend had the intelligence of a rock and the grammatical skills of a 3 year old, i'd prob go homo on her too.

on a side note, i especially like the message board on fisting

sjp's ugliness is affecting her marriage

Parker, who is one of the most adored actresses, following her stint as the affable Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City has spoken out about the impact the Maxim magazine poll results had on her and her husband, Matthew Broderick.

Parker, 43, has had a hard time dealing with the news that men do not find her as attractive as advertisers do, claiming the result of the Maxim poll was "brutal" and also affected her husband, actor Matthew Broderick.

Parker told Grazia: "Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not...Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow!...It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger...It upset him (Broderick), because it has to do with his judgement too. It's condemnation, it's insane. What can I do?...I guess you can't please all people."

Parker can take comfort in the bank balance though, safe in the knowledge that she is financially miles ahead of her SATC co-stars and is a favourite for advertisers, with high-profile companies, including Garnier and Gap.

source: www.news.com.au